


Memories of a lifetime

by MiriyanThesilverWolf, Theincaprincess



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Hold on to memories, M/M, Song - Freeform, Song by Disturbed, bagginshield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 23:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16880883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriyanThesilverWolf/pseuds/MiriyanThesilverWolf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theincaprincess/pseuds/Theincaprincess





	Memories of a lifetime

**"Listen, everyone, The time will come when all of us say goodbye, Feel that aching in your heart, Leaving you broken inside, But we're never really gone, As long as there's a memory in your mind"**

Staring blankly down at Thorin as the dwarf Bilbo had learned to love, Bilbo felt like his heart had just shattered into a million pieces, his throat was getting tighter and it felt he couldn´t breathe anymore as he was forced to watch how the light drained from Thorin's bright, bluest eyes Bilbo had ever laid his eyes on, looking at his chest it no longer rose as the last breath left his lifeless body, Thorin´s strong heart didn´t beat anymore. The king under the mountain was dead, but Bilbo refused to let go of his hand, even after Gandalf came up to him and told to let go, it took Dwalin to physically pull the hobbit away as the halfling was almost screaming while the tears were streaming from his cheeks. Bilbo didn´t want to leave his companion, his friend….his love behind.

**"So now go do the best things in life, Take a bite of this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Make a ride of this world while you can"**

Standing next to Gandalf during Thorin's funeral Bilbo cried and cried, walking around them Bilbo stopped at Thorin´s side and lifting his hand stroked Thorin's hair and whispered loving words into his ear, knowing that he would never hear them, and never again Bilbo would hear Thorin's voice soothing his nerves lulling him to sleep at nights. Leaving Erebor with Gandalf to return to the Shire was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life and Bilbo was quiet, he was too lost in his own grief, and things didn't get any better when he got back home, with the auction of his things at Bag End leaving him utterly shocked.

**"Take the ones you love, And hold them close because there is little time, And don't let it break your heart, I know it feels hopeless sometimes, But they're never really gone, As long as there's a memory in your mind"**

Every room of Bag End made him remember Thorin, no matter where he looked, the chair, the fireplace, the hallway…Thorin´s smiling image kept appearing in front of him making Bilbo wanting to yell his ache for the dwarf king out loud. Taking out the second oak tree seed he picked up in Beorn's garden from his jacket pocket, Bilbo went into his garden and planted it to be a reminder that he did indeed make it home, but lost a lot more. For a long time he just sat there staring ahead while the gentle wind caressed his curly hair, it was almost as if Thorin was trying to comfort him and finally, Bilbo broke down crying his loss at his garden as the sun slowly started to set coloring the sky bright red.

**"So now go do the best things in life, Take a bite of this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Make a ride of this world while you can"**

  
***60 years later***

  
Watching Frodo and Sam getting Bag End ready for his upcoming birthday party, Bilbo passed his writing table where he had hung the map of the lonely mountain, feeling all the heartbreak and memories came flooding back to him as his eyes wandered over the paper, he picked up a red notebook and placed it on the table and began to write the events of his heartbreaking tale down time to time glancing up trying to find the right words.

**"And hold on to memories, Hold on to every moment, To keep them alive, The world's greatest tragedy, Souls who are not remembered, Cannot survive"**

Every day Bilbo would write, and the memories started to come back, some made him laugh and some made him cry, the worst was the nights being alone in his bed, thinking about Thorin and how happy they could have been. Tossing and turning in his bed Bilbo would finally give up trying to get some sleep and went outside smoking his pipe and letting his mind go back to Erebor and to that time when everything was still fine before they reached the Lonely Mountain before and everything started to go wrong.

**"So now go do the best things in life, Bring the fight to this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Shine your light on this world while you can"**

Watching many of the hobbits getting married and having children Bilbo started to lock himself away as he felt the sting of envy in his heart but still, he had his nephew Frodo to look after, but the happiness of others started to make him very sad and little grumpy, grief was worming its way back to his heart and sending Frodo to collect something for him, Bilbo picked up his pipe and tobacco and went outside.

**"And hold on to memories, Hold on to every moment, To keep them alive, The world's greatest tragedy, Souls who are not remembered, Cannot survive"**

Sitting in his garden under the oak tree, Bilbo lit his pipe and looked up at the clouds, making patterns with them, one of the lonely mountain, one of Smaug, one of Thorin, feeling a tear slide down his face. He had hoped that in time, the longing and the grief would have eased some but it had done just the opposite and Bilbo sometimes had a hard time to cope.

"Aye laddie, his loss still hurts me" jumping at the voice Bilbo turned to see Balin standing there with Gandalf both had sad smiles on their faces. Standing up Bilbo wiped his eyes and opened the gate welcoming his old friends back to his home.

"Where are my manners? Come in you two would you like a cup of tea?" Getting nods from the old Dwarf and wizard, closing the gate Bilbo pointed for them to enter Bag End as he followed silently behind locking the sorrow in his heart not letting it show too much but it would stay there until he would see Thorin again.

**"And hold on to memories (Hold on), Hold on to every moment, To keep them alive (Keep them alive), The world's greatest tragedy (Hold on), Souls who are not remembered, Cannot survive"**

 

 

 


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